Sorry to disappoint, but life has been typical. (it isn’t always autism)

It’s hard to believe fall is finishing up, the “holiday” season is here.  Most of the summer was weird, and the fall surreal.

Blogging and social media time were taken over with “being with boyfriend Kevin” time.

“Boyfriend” seems such a strange word for one, since he’s in his late 40’s and two because I had previously vowed I was never attempting another relationship.

Ever.

This past August Kevin asked me to marry him.  The date is set for a weekend in June 2016.

I feel so very happy.

How are the kids?

Excellent.

We’ve had a fairly productive time with schooling, went on a few field trips  and generally started looking for a new “normal” that includes a new family member.

Well, two family members, because we have a doggy now too.

CAM00360

Pete walking Cinder

I’ve also had three speaking opportunities at different Sherlock Holmes related happenings (symposium, conference, and scion society). In those talks I’ve disclosed my diagnosis, and while keeping personal info at a minimum, the boys’ as well.

The other day at another Sherlockian function I sat near a woman whose scion society I have attended in the past, but had missed the most recent meeting.

She had been worried about me, to the point of contacting me to see if I was alright.

I didn’t mind this, at first.

Through conversation I found that she had automatically assumed my absence was because of autism (mine or my children’s I couldn’t quite gather), and so thought some major catastrophe had occurred.

She didn’t even consider that like all people, sometimes life is just stressful, and often time is an issue. Automatically her mind went to autism.  I forget what she said exactly but it was along the lines of “with everything going on with you, I was really worried.”

Sigh.

I started to wonder if I was making a major mistake in terms of disclosure because of how autism and family life is portrayed in the media leaves us at a risk of being seen in this light.

It is a risk even with all the evidence to the contrary in my life, on this blog, and in other writings.

I decided not to bother telling her much about the reasons I hadn’t been around.  I felt like an object of pity and could see she formed so many assumptions on so little.

To be honest, I don’t feel like going back to that particular group now.

Nothing horrible nor harrowing has occurred.

Just life.

For the kids I’m thinking about:

How to engage and interest my six year old daughter,

keep my nine year old son out of trouble and interacting,

the almost twelve year old intellectually and socially  stimulated,

the almost fourteen year old son learning skills for independence,

plus helping the fifteen year old boy through high school and planning a future.

Every descent parent regardless of whether or not their child has a label should be doing that.

One kid has had health issues.

Typical kids have those too.

For me,

its a matter of continuing to try to build a career on the skills I have, paying bills, and working on a relationship.

I know its going  out on a limb, but I’m fairly certain most people think about and work on that too.

I’m having more issues with the city.

Living in Baltimore is a significant source of stress for anyone here.

My time is taken up with my fiancee, which should be no surprise to anyone  whose had a  romantic relationship or been around a love-struck couple.

Its

Really.

Typical.

Stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Sorry to disappoint, but life has been typical. (it isn’t always autism)

  1. h4rrish4wk says:

    I’m not disappointed. I’m really happy for you. You deserve to have some good things keeping you away, and average normal life stuff catches up with everyone. To be fair, you had already let me know some things so I wasn’t in the dark so much – still happy for you though.

  2. h4rrish4wk says:

    Wasn’t disappointed, then again you had let me know some of this before, so I wasn’t in the dark so much. Still very happy for you!

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