Sharing this post with my readers…
Some people get by on the amount of pity/attention they get by sharing the various problems they have in life. They say, and may even tell themselves, they want things to be better, but really they do not. The people who shower them with this attention/pity feel rewarded by doing so, regardless of whether it makes the situation better. They don’t really care whether life improves, they feel as if they are doing something positive. Anyone wise to this person’s pattern, who call it out, or who suggest maybe life isn’t that bad/their attitude could change, then just becomes an evil meany. (had a cog. psychology class that talked about this type of behavior, believe the prof called it “playing the game”) For autism parents who derive emotional satisfaction from the attention they get by portraying themselves as martyr victims, there is no benefit in adopting an acceptance mindset, or shifting attention way from their woes by seeking out opinions/learning experiences that could make life better for their child or by extension themselves. Using the “functioning” excuse is really just that, an excuse to silence. I have given up on those types- they don’t really want change or improvement and engaging with them is spoon draining futility.
“Why do they* hate us?” I asked a dear friend of mine, who happens to have an autistic daughter.
“Because they don’t know you,” she said, but I was dissatisfied with this answer.
I kept asking, kept thinking and pondering. Why do they hate us? Because their actions and words, over and over, show us that they do.
It is taken for granted that lesbians speak for lesbians, people of color speak for people of color, Christians speak for Christians. If you held a conference or an event centered on New England weather, you’d expect New Englanders to be running it, to be a large part of it, not just as an audience but an active participant. Yet somehow, in the autism community, we’ve got the Floridians claiming that they have just as much knowledge as us New Englanders, who have actually lived and continue to actually live in the…
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