Loss and finding balance.

marshypoint4                             Finding Balance- Just stick out your hands.

We have sad news at our house.  My ex-husband’s grandfather only has a short time left to live.  The children went to their father’s earlier than planned. I hope the big kids have a chance to see him before he passes on.

The kids for the most part have not experienced loss (at least that they would remember well) so it is tough. My thoughts are with my ex’s family as well. Things wont be the same without “Papaw.”

For me, today has been a day for planning, cleaning, and organizing. Next week begins our “fall session” of home school (October to Christmas). I am writing out new schedules and making plans in terms of focus.

One of the main thoughts today is in finding balance between structure and choice, as well as between academics, enrichment,  and the “work” of being a family (time together, chores, ritual).  Add to that my work of writing and there is a great deal to factor in!

I have said that I do not use a set curriculum and one of the reasons why is each child has different ever changing needs in terms of structure, choice,  organization method, attention and focus. They are also wildly different places academically.

All of these different things combine to make our family life ever shifting and changing, often with the seasons, naturally as life moves along. This is why our “structure” is never rigid with specific time periods or expectations for every hour of the day.

People often try and “fail” at different organizational (curriculum, time management, etc) systems often because they do not fit who they are as people.  They work to change themselves rather than modify the methodology to fit.  It shouldn’t be a surprise then, that keeping up the effort does not work out long term.

As I have said, having  loose plan and structure works for us.

We had a month’s break to relax.  I did not find it relaxing at all. The van issue and prowler experience ruined the month for me in terms of stress, but another reason I felt a bit lost this month, is that I dropped the normal structure to our routine. I found I got very little done that I had wanted. Some of the children stayed busy on their own, while others were quite bored without having a set thing to do. Peter and Tessa kept asking me for work to do (and I gave it to them). Patrick played happily on his own all month.  Aidan and Lily undertook projects without hardly any direction at all.  So, the break was mixed.  Everyone seems happy to be getting back to a schedule.  Well, everyone except for Patrick!

Along with home school, I  ALSO need to work through a new schedule for myself for work that flows well with everyone else. If it doesn’t work, it simply needs modified.

I’ll get it.  🙂

How about you? Are you a schedule person or more free flow? Have you had success with organizational systems long term? Are you a planner like me, or do you just wait and see?

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3 thoughts on “Loss and finding balance.

  1. nodimlight says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about the situation with your grandfather. I wish you, he, and your family peace during this time.

    I am an organized wanna be. I hate the notion of playing it by ear or we’ll see. I try to plan my day but it is always thrown by the wayside as things progress. Maybe it’s because I can’t stand to do many things for more than 10 minutes at a time! But, I always like to know how things would be if I were to be organized and disciplined. Like a little girl playing grown up! Does this make sense to anybody else?

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