Today will not be about another learning shelf because today very little work got done or much else for that matter because today was all about the couch.
Or rather, today was all about two couches.
It was about two couches with vastly different storylines.
It was about two couches with vastly different storylines and anxiety,
a great deal of anxiety.
I’ve been feeling an enormous anxiety over life of late.
A feeling of oncoming calamity and ruin creeps in.
Inertia creeps in with it.
I tend to let anxiety of different things (making phone calls, financial troubles, unknown variables….etc.) build, and it can make me inert.
The more it builds, the more unable to move I feel. Executive function goes on vacation.
Anyway, a good way to take on the source of dread prior to shutdown is to write down everything that I’m avoiding or worried about and put them into perspective, tackling the things I can take care of.
Even if, much like Pip totaling up his debts in Great Expectations, this does not solve all the problems, it helps me relax and think.
So I made a list.
One thing on that list was the couch.
Yes I’m serious.
First world problems to be sure BUT
I was feeling dread, at least partially, over a couch,
THE COUCH OF DOOM.
This couch was brand new three years ago.
First a little hole in the seam appeared which the children worried into a larger hole which I sewed up repeatedly as the children then picked at my sewing job. Eventually I gave up. Then the springs became crushed by standing and jumping and various gymnastics and then eventually, from sitting on the cushioned backs there began a ripping of the couch fabric down to white fabric backing.
My friend Suz created this picture, and feels it better portrays my couch.
So, clearly, the couch needed replaced. Eventually I had the money to do it, but the task felt overwhelming.
The old couch of doom needed dealt with. I couldn’t afford paying to have it hauled, nor am I strong enough to move it down to the curb for free pick up.
I also needed to shop for a new couch of doom and that idea made my skin crawl.
They don’t let you have a moment. That couch of doom was the first furniture I bought by myself,
The salesman drove me bananas.
Did you know that
“Would you please get away from me?”
is NOT a polite thing to say to a salesman even with the “please” part??
So I sat feeling helpless until I decided that taking care of the couch problem was the easiest thing on my list of dread.
I thought, “ok, I’m smarter than the average bear, I will just tackle an issue at a time.”
I ordered bulk trash pickup -online.
I shopped for and ordered delivery on a new couch- online, salesman free.
Now how did I get the old couch down to the curb?
Well last night a friend and I took a crow bar to it and broke it down, it was gloriously fun. Said friend thought I was just a little too gleeful. I was disappointed he wouldn’t let me use his sledgehammer. Personally, if there is a job that consists of destroying things, I am so there. Sign me up.
Then we carried pieces down to the alley curb. Here it is on the curb waiting for the trash men.
Then today I spent all morning
glaring staring at the alley waiting for said trash men who didn’t come until noon. I was starting to panic thinking they wouldn’t show and I’d get fined or something. They are quite fond of fining here. I also imagined every possible calamity that could occur with the delivery of the new couch.
Happily though as of this moment,
Here is the new couch, with newly threatened (next time its bean bag chairs) children.